There are certain songs that I can’t listen to without sobbing. Anything by James Taylor and Carol King. Puff the Magic Dragon. Most of what plays on the “The Bridge” channel on SiriusXM.
What is amazing is this inevitable sobbing begins before any of the lyrics are actually recited. I just have to hear a few chords. My mother used to sing Puff the Magic Dragon to me as a child while strumming the guitar in bed. And so the first time I tried reading a copy of the book to Zev, I couldn’t get through the book without tears staining all of the pages. No doubt, the theme of the song–the loss of innocence and childhood–could be worth a good cry. But over time, I’ve discovered I am not crying because of the content. I am crying because of the memories evoked by the music.
In a few weeks, Jews across the country will come in droves into the pews for Kol Nidrei. In Israel, even Israelis who have never been in services will gather outside of synagogues to hear the final sounding of the Shofar.
Very few people think about what Kol Nidrei even means or why we do it. In sum, we are setting up a court of elders who will retroactively annul all of the vows we may make with God and accidentally forget about in the coming year. No doubt, that topic is worthy of a good cry. We all make promises and in the wake of the new year, sometimes forget them. Painful consequences can ensue when we forget our promises.
However, I am not sure this is what resonates with people at Kol Nidrei. A Shofar that sounds without a memory of shofarot past is powerful, but it’s not the same. Kol Nidrei makes us cry because the music and the chanting remind us of what was and is no longer each year. And we come back year after year because of who was with us once upon a time and now only exists as a memory.
Our rabbis refer to the melody used for Kol Nidrei as being so old that it is “MiSinai” (from Sinai). That makes sense. When we cry at Kol Nidrei, we are not the only ones. We cry alongside the Jewish people who eternally cry at the same melody, from generation to generation.
– Rabbi Dan Dorsch
